shattered glass

I don't know about you. But all my life, I've dreamed of the perfect education, the perfect grades, the perfect school, the perfect job.

I never got any of it. But to be fair, I ended up at a pretty awesome school, made awesome friends and had decent grades. So I guess they were perfect in their own cool way.

At the end of last year, I thought I scored my perfect job.

Two months into it, I am seriously regretting the road not taken sigh* I am seriously hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that this situation will pan out like the rest. That it will end up being a good experience.

But to be honest, I feel like I am losing it. I am a lot less cheerful, a lot less positive. I am full of complaints, full of rants, lethargic and so exhausted all the time. Just two months into it, and already all these are showing. When I talk to a lot of people, they tell me to just tough it out. And I believe that I should too. But I am lying if I say that I am not worried this will make me so jaded, so bitter and cynical that I lose myself entirely to corporate world.

I still want to believe that eventually this shattered dream can be fixed and somewhat resemble the picture it used to be. But how long do I give it?